I am soooo Soorryyyy

My pple i am sorry i have not been here in a bit, i have been really really busy and sick as well so comng online wasnt really it for me! Thank you guys for ur messages, it actually did make me feel loved! Anyways just a little update cos i need time to visit ur individual blogs!!!

Me, i am just chilling oh been really sick, tired and been working my butts off! My finals were ok and my summer plans r going according to planned so far! My man moved to my town already, he lives like within the same zip code, to tell u how close he is to me, he wanted me to move in with him as he bought d house and i am still on the rent leve but i dont think i am ready for that yet! Anyways sa its been ok, he has since started his job n he is so happy with it! We r still very much together, some deep fights but we have been able to talk thru them!!! My sister is getting married in 3 weeks so i am in nigeria as at now and my man in cumn in 2weeks, the plan is to be in nigeria for 2 weeks after he gets here and then we wud go for a proper holiday!

I missed my period 1 time like dat, and i fought with my man oh..lol..i took the frustration on him...it was a rough time but finally went to the doctor and they said it was a change in my diet or stress that made my period irregular but to be on the safe side i am now on serious pills and contraception when n if necessary!!! Ehen before i left for naija, we exchanged cars, and his car is rather mad so i have just been feeling like a bad chick...lol...what else about me and him? nuthin men, infact enuff of d boring stuffs! Ehen guess who i saw in naija, can u remeber my man frend from my very first post, the guy that made me cheat on my first love...anyways he tried to make moves oh but the way i told hm off, he prolly thot it wasnt the same person!

Anyways my pple, i need to browse thru u pples pages but wud do a proper update soon enuff...love y'all plenty plenty!!!!

Suspense Over!!!

Ok guys i am sorry for the suspense but hey i am here now! Yeh my mans doctors appointment went well and the cast was taken off on wednesday but i was still on my RED so we still cudnt have sex! On friday, i woke up feeling very sick but i still went to work! I wasnt really expecting anything from him for my birthday cos i mean he isnt working and cudnt get round much without me cos of the broken leg....and yeh i was not disappointed as all he said was 'gud morning baby'. I was propa vexed, ok yes i wasnt expecting a ceremony but at d worst wishes with hugs and kisses would do! I was totally disoriented, try working with a head ache and huge heartbreak and see what i mean! So i got thru the day at work after locking myself in d bathroom 2ce and crying myself silly!

I was on my way to the bakery to pick up a cake when my phone rang, i was really upset and tempted not to pick it but i just thot whatever it was we could talk things out! I picked up sounding very distant, and he just carried on talking and i am like wtf...first he forgot my birthday and now he doent even notice i am upset so i just decided to let it be, i was quiet the whole time till i heard him 'so would you come get ur house keys from the airport?my flight leaves in an hr'...he gave a flimpsy excuse y he was leaving so soon but at that point i cudnt be bothered! I drove so fast i almost got a ticket but i got to the airport in 1 piece!

When i got to the airport, he kissed me and said happy birthday and no he didnt forget but he didnt want to talk to me much this morning cos he would have let out the suprise out of excitement! I noticed he had more bags than usual and like he was reading my mind 'baby, we r going to florida'....i was excited men, i had been longing for a holiday but i was suddenly filled with questions...

Me- but i didnt pack anything

Him- Dont worry i packed more than enuff of what u need

Me- My car?

Him- Funmi is here to drive it away,(Funmi is my cusn)

So i was overly excited, we boarded and arrived in 1 piece...we went to get our bags and this man of mine had packed 2 suit cases for me...lol...for a weekend oh...ok yes i am very indecisive of what to wear so he made the right choice!

WE checked into the already booked hotel, a very nice place and i was dieing to fuck him men cos i was so randy from hours of kissing on the plane but he kept running from me...lol...so we just chilled kissing,eating and watching a movie! Till he said it was time to go out, so i got dressed, i tried to look stunning and then the room phone rang and all i could hear was ok, ok fine, ok and i am like uhmm!

We left and were met by a hummer limo, chai some kain VIP treatment, we went to this restaurant men, every1 seemed so posh and on point and we had a very quiet dinner, lovely meal it was! About to set out, music stops and i hear some funny looking man speak.

'On behalf of my man's name, i will like to wish risquediva a happy birthday! A cake appeared from nowhr and 2 asian women with very lovely voices sang happy birthday for me! I was so glad! He fed me some cake thru his mouth ..lol... and told me how beautiful i was, told me i was his best friend, his girl, his confidant, his joy and his back bone and 4 the first time in my life i believed the words of a MAN!

And then he went on and said, 'dont be scared by this approach,its only a committment and i am glad to say u r the only girl i have ever committed to and now i dont regret it, baby would you be my girl?' with watery eyes i am like yes! And he gave me a committment ring but guys its not an engagement ring oh so dont get it twisted and dont chop off my head!

I was really happy and i said a silent prayer to God, thanking him for not giving up on me after all my wrong deeds, he still gave me hapiness!

We got back to the room and he is like hell yeh i am ready now!

BELOW 18, EXCUSE ME PLS...LOL

We start from gentle kisses, biting and eating our lips, he lifts me up and puts me gently on the bed, carefully undressed me to even my jewelry and starts licking and sucking my body from my neck to nipples that were hard due to lack of sex...lol...he sucked my hard nipples while his other hand messed around with my 2nd full breast,he then did the same thing to the other breasts of which by this time i was driping wet...then his 2 masculine fingers wandered to my wet pussy and luckily found my hole..he dipped it in and fingered me slowly..now i was gagging and i am like baby go harder pls and thats when he went mad, he starts fingering me hard and sucking my nipples! Then he stopped, looked at me and winked, he was about to fulfil one of my secret fantasies i had told him out of trust, he got vanilla icecream..poured it gently all over my body including my pussy and licked it off me,then used his sweetend tongue to go down on me (at this point i cudnt help but love him, cos i knew he really did love me! he was out to satisfy me as he was still fully clothed)...i tried undressing him and he is like no baby this is ur night...he goes down on me again,licking my clits and i was on top of the world, his tongue is like thunder...lol...and then he he stripped,kissed me again and put his dick into my veryyyyy wet pussy, fucked me like i have never been fucked,raised both my legs so his dick cud go the farthest into me and it sure did, then he turned me around and gave me the doggy style, pounding real hard with some slight spanking,he fucked me hard and it was obvious he was holding himself from cummn...and after what seemed like moments in paradise, we came almost togeder...he held me tight and whispered,'i love u'!

We cleaned up and then i realised he wasnt wearing a condom but i didnt think much of it as we had both been tested and i just got off my red, i told him my fear tho and he said we will be ok but he was going to put me on the pills!

We had fun the whole of the weekend, he took me evrywhr i cud think of ... And now the big decision...a night before we departed.. we were laying side by side watching a show and he is like baby i want to discuss something with u...uhmmm this must be serious love!

Him- yes it is!, i spoke to my boss last week and i asked if i cud get a posting to the branch in ur state and he said yes i could and dat branch also needed a manager meaning i will be promoted, so i was thinking to move over here, accept the job offer and we can move on with our lifes!

Me- I was lost, confused...i dont know if i am ready for this!
Him-No pressure love, they have given me a week to think about it and make the move and since there is nuthin tying me up at home, my mum has moved to ohio,my sister doesnt really care,my car has been bashed and i havent closed the house deal yet...its a perfect opportunity...especially since the angel of my life is here!

Me- Ok i will think about it ok?

And we had another round of sexual pleasuring, this time me being the boss!

Catch y'all later

A Joyous heart!!!

My pple, i am really tired and just wanna sleep but i couldnt keep this for too long... My birthday weekend was the best weekend of my life and trust me i have been there done that! I had the best time of my life, was soo happy with myself cos i also dropped a few body pounds...my man gave me an amazing time that i would let u in on later! But yeh just to let u knw we were able to pull through my buffday! Thanks to all my darling, Bookie, Nikkisab, Theicequeen, Doll and Bunmmy for the birthday wish...it was indeed very appreciated! My man has gone thru his thinking session and has made up his mind on the important decision we were trying to make, it is far from what i expected and has thrown me off balance as i am still yet to come up with my own decision...
Well i gtg now, hope to update soon...much love!

A peek into my life!!!

Hey whats poppings, well it sure has been a while but i have just been really busy with school,work, my family n my love life and blogging has just been far fetchd till now.

Thanks guys for all the encouragements,words of advice and sentences of rage...they have been taken with great respect! Ok so just a little update!

My sisters- They are my motivation in life,graduated about to get married,they r really happy pple... buying houses here and there while i am just managing with my rent..lol..they are getting married a week apart so my dad is really happy right now! i have always looked at them as twins cos there is just a year between them, went to the same schools thru out and even had the same major.

My brother- for once we r getting along,lol.. he thinks women are too much hassle and he is just doing loads of monetary stuffs not bothering about women for now, i dont blame him sha!

My folks- They are very happy, they are giving out 2 daughters soon to their ideal 'man of honour'...u know wat i mean! They are lashing out money now like it grows on trees, all i need to do is call one of them talk about the wedding for like 5mins and act like i am really really interested and then throw in my request for money which is granted immediately...make hay while the sun shines...lol

My man- is alright now, he has been discharged, he got a 3 weeks 'paid sick holiday' and came down to my side so i can take care of him which is what i have been doing and has kept me quite busy! We were able to talk properly and he finally told his sister to butt out and stop her tricks cos no matter what she does he was going to stay with me! We are also seriously considering something quite major and serious, no i wont tell u now...it some later stuffs! He now eats nigerian food oh, as in kai, more than me self! We havent had sex since he had his accident and we have come to appreciate that, as we now realise our love isnt really built on sex. His mum has been very supportive and gave him some money till he gets on his feet! His sister has been a bitch and we really cant be bothered about her now! I made a major step yesterday, i let my family talk to him, i was really scared of him using any silly slangs on my dad but he was perfect and i thot i wud never hear my dad say he likes an american dude has my boyfriend but he did and i was glad. Everyone likes him and they cant wait to meet him, he is planning on going to nigeria with me for the wedding, great isnt it?

Ok now unto me, i have a new car...thanks to my dad! He gave it to me as an early birthday present cos he wont be here for my birthday which is on friday,its d car i have always wanted and i totally love it! I am the chief bridesmaid for both my sisters wedding so i am on a very very serious diet, like u dont understand! I am on point with my school work which is miracle that hasnt occured since my 3rd year in high school so give me a halleluyah...lmao

Well thats pretty all that has been going on in my life...ok yeh...

My sex life, has been really boring, as my man has bandages everywhr, he says he is fit enuff but i love him too much to take chances and i just told him to wait till he goes for his doctors appointment on wednesday! I have been using my little toy tho and i have snogs with my man, he likes to see me masturbate...lol...n i just head him off till he cums which is quite a wait..lol... but i am reallly hoping they get rid of the bandages by my birthday!!!

Yeh before i go, my man saw me blogging and asked what i was doing..lol...i laughed and told him we will talk about it later...shud i tell him i have a blog or lie to him again...i really dont wanna lie again tho!

Am outa here for now and hopefully i can update soon! Take y'all....

The trip to my enemies!!!

Once again, thanks to y'all for standing by me...

Well i left my house on thursday, checked into a hotel with my CREDIT CARD (i didnt know what to expect and i wanted to be safe), i didnt get to the hospital until 5 past midnight and off course i was tired and kept asking myself if i had made the right decision by coming over. Off course they didnt let me see him cos they were on about it was too late but i had them tell him i was around and i would be back tomorrow, instead of a reply from him...his mum came out with her face like shit and wanted to do the argument for him but i told her politetly...'hi,ma'am i am really too tired and would rather come back tomorrow'...she kissed her teeth,rolled her eyes and walked away...Now in my culture they call that being an 'agbaya' (bully).

I went back to my hotel,lonely as shit,my battery ran out but ish i forgot my charger...i had nothing to do except watch TV and as some of u know i am not really a tv person...ok oh the night crawled by and after what seemed like ages, it was time for me to get ready n go see him! They normally dont allow visitors in till 2pm but being good friday, visitors were allowed from 8am! I really wanted to get there before his mum so we could sort things out without the interference of any one! When i walked into his room, i tried to voice out words to at least say hi but with the state he was in, i couldnt help but cry, he looked pale,had a bandage on his head (and for a split second i thot, oh thats it he has amnesia, reason he thot he told me about the accident when he didnt) but with the look in his eyes,i quickly pushed that idea out of my head...he was still sane..lol...he had a needle inserted in his hand, the intravenous injection and i thot 'my my my,it must have been really bad'...and a bowl of cereal that was hardly touched laying right in front oh him...now u see all the bandages n injections are all drama but u see for my man not to touch his cereal, kai IT WAS BAD OH...I walked towards him,hugged him and just to make him feel a lil better i said i was sorry...he was like a dog waiting to be set loose...he starts shouting...

'now u say u r sorry,what happened to ur promises of u always being there for me,did u eat ur words so quick? i now know i mean nothing to you! You leave me when i needed u the most and now you come after a week to cry for sympathy, you know what? i really appreciate the fact that you came but the truth is i really dont want to see u now...not now, not ever'

Ehn, wetin be all this now? was all i could ask myself! He kept ranting and panting until he held his head in pain, i could tell he was hurting...
Me- 'calm down and lets talk about it first, your head hurts so you dont really need to shout..i was being patient cos he was ill

Man c- 'what is there to talk about, tell me uhn?' That u have another man?tell me

Me- 'THINKING', now this is getting to far, i let down my patience and i start yelling...'what the hell are you talking about, you sit there and blame me about not being here, how was i supposed to know you were ill when u turned deaf ears on me? i called u like a mad fucker for days, sent you messages...but u turned deaf ears on me, u never picked my call nor replied my message except the very filthy message u sent to me saying 'we need to talk'...what the fuck men?if u dont want me here i would leave cos u r being stupidly rude now and i am not taking it anymore! I am proper vexed and have been for days being that u ignored me but i put away my anger to come work things out so how dare u call me names...i put my life on hold cos i came here which wasnt very convenient for me emotionally n financially n u sit there n talk crap to me...but u know what i have heard enough, u say u dont want to ever see me...am out...

I was proper vexed guys i mean,i was walking towards the door and i looked back, in my mind it was the final glance...he was blank,weak and u know i just thot i cant walk out now it would be mean of me...he was trying to get himself to speak, n i waited patiently again (women are truly gifts from God) and then he let it out,i would try to remember all he said but def not in the exact words, his voice was shaking ...

Him- Fucking hell, i thot ... ok see what happened yeh! On wednesday after i sent you a text and called u, my sister came round 2 my crib and said her car had been towed and she needed to borrow my car so i agreed but i told her to drop me off at work first and then on the way to work she ran into a truck parked on my side of the road which obviously got me into this state but she had no injuries...right after i got into the ambulance she asked if i wanted her to call anyone and i said she should call you,my boss and my mum...she then said she had called you but you said you were to busy and would call later, i was a little suprised but i just thot maybe you had a test or exam,she was with my phone cos i wasnt allowed to have a phone in the hospital but evertime she came to visit, id ask her if u called and she was like no the whole time. Then just before my surgery, i told her i wanted to talk to you again, she said your had been off since the previous day cos she was trying to call you to tell you about the surgery and after the surgery it was the same story! I got really upset and decided to call myself damning the hospital rules and u didnt pick up (that was the day he called when i wasnt with my phone), and it just kind of confirmed everything she said, till u called and acted like u knew nothing about it...now i am getting a drift of it, he said sadly....

I had calmed down now, really suprised to hear all that, i calmly explained my version of what happened to him day to day...he was really shocked, upset and he said he felt totally betrayed by his sister.

His mum came in later and she was still a little cold to me, then i understood y she was so i was smiling while my man explained it to her and she dropped her mouth open, hugged me really tight and apologized, saying she thought i had left him but that she really did think it was unlike me!

We were all happy now, chilling,laughn and my man was finally eating till she walked in...the face of the devil...his sister...her mum went on her like u dont even get it and all my man could say was get out, i dont want to see u! He said he was really angered thinking,she bashed his car and its a total write off, she got him in hospital n in surgery, got him off work and couldnt earn anything and she also tried to make him loose me! He decided he was going to make her pay for his car n days off work...Biko i beg make she come pay for ticket n hotel bill...
He made me check out of the hotel and move into his house, gave me money he had saved up (aww he was planning to come suprise me for easter) for the trip,and we got back on track with our relationship!

The hospital allowed 1 person who could always be with him at any time of the day, it had been his mum for the past week but he begged she changed it to me till i left; i stayed with him for every hour till i left to come back to this crazy town, happy n guess what? i have more money now than before i left...hehehehehe... n i got my man back!

A quest for answers!!!

Well, well, well, i dnt even know whr to start from...it feels like its been ages since i last blogged but well am back again! I really wanna say thank you to everyone who took out time to check on me and leave a word of encouragement...love u guys and to Bookie,with patience u can answer the unswered questions!

I took to the advice guys, i put him aside for a while and read for my exam, it was really hard...images of him kept tormenting me i swear but the good news is that i As my exam and i have never been more grateful to God!

I turned off my phone for the whole of sunday n monday, to focus on my reading and finish my exam, hoping when i turn it on, he would have contacted me but i am a big joker! I left school on monday with a migraine as i cried for hours the previous night and had to read almost all night, i got into my house,to my bed and soaked my pillow again. And i picked my phone and called my back bone, my mum, i told her everything,she prayed with me and told me to take it easy, said she hasnt heard me cry in ages and her heart breaks to hear me cry now and then i thot to myself 'y was i doing this to myself and now my mum?' so i promised her not to cry again and after her telling me with a very shaky voice (sounded like she was holding back tears) that she loved me and wudnt shut me out of her life even if any1 did. Then it clicked, thats exactly what he did 'he shut me out of his life'... so i put up a brave face and said 'nuthin do me'

I did wat i am known for doing when i am filled with fear n anger, i cleaned my entire house and cooked a naija meal, took a long shower...got out the shower and stayed naked eating and blasting music,dancing at intervals... went on for hours and i kinda felt better afterwards.... cuddled with my teddy,watchn tv and for the first time since he left unannounced i didnt cry myself to bed! I woke up filling better and in lively spirits, went about my daily rituals and bought myself a book to keep me company and also to keep my head filled, it worked but wasnt very easy, everything reminded me of him and i was amazd that i hadnt attempted to call him again! My days went on like that up until yesterday...uhmmm.....

My phone was on vibrate cos i really cudnt be bothered, my family wud call my house phone if they needed to speak to me, my frends wud hola me on facebook if they cudnt get a hold of me and every1 knows that b4 i got with ds mysterious man, my phone wasnt my best buddy... I was watchn 'my wife n kids'...my life is on a pause when i am watching it....Ok so the episode is done n i walk into my room and noticed the light of my phone just turned off, picked it up and saw 12 missed calls n 1 new message which apparently just came in a minute ago...d message read 'we need to talk'.....My oh my, i was angry wat in the world? Did he think he cud walk in n out of my life when he damn pleases, i was fucking pissed off,i started cursing n kissing my teeth. My phone starts ringing again, a blocked id this time, hey y'all i wasnt about to pick up and look cheap n desperate so i turned off my phone...it was my time...i was proper vexed... I went to bed and had a nasty dream, never had such b4 , i woke up by 7a.m and i was sweating like God knows what n not like d weather was particularly gud... I had an uneasy feeling, my mind went to my family so i called my mum and she said everyone was good and then i turned on my phone and i had new voice messages and i listened to them 1 after the other until i heard his, dayum my heart skipped a beat when i heard his voice, it wasnt until that point i realised how much i had missed him, me still thinking of this...i heard it, it came with a twist of guilt 'I have been in hospital and you wouldnt even check up on me, is this what love is about? I thot u cared, what hapend to ur words that u will always care, did u eat them up'... n then the end of d message came n i realised i was crying... I was unsensitiv to him n d situation i believe, but guys what cud i have done? pls help me here! I immediately tried to call him but his phone was off, calculating real hard, looked at the time and saw i was running late for d start of my day, decided to call in sick at work n fashy school as i was practically finished for the week! Me acting crazy, shaking like God knows what, i call his mum and she sounded very distant like she was not happy to hear from me but i let that slip...i asked her politely if she had any idea how i cud reach her son and she said i shud call her back in 30minutes she will be with him...kai kai kai, the most horrible 30mins i have ever had, thinking, crying,praying and hoping it wasnt that bad watever it was.... out of anxiety i was counting with the clock and on the tick of 30mins i called her back and he picked up...the voice of the man i love, i cherish and care for, the voice of the man that felt abadoned...he sounded weak...

Me- Hi,got ur message,what hapened? (i really didnt know wat 2 say)
Him- So u didnt intend to call right? ok so what do u wanna hear now?
Me- What do u mean, i have been trying to call u,what hapenned?
Him- I was in an accident
Me- uh wha? when, how..with who?
Him- Now u wanna play dumb,well on wednesday of last week and it took u 1 week to call me
Me- I didnt know anything about it honestly, i swear! Ok so how do u feel?
Him- I certainly cant feel any worse, got out of surgery on monday...
at that point, i thot surgery, it must have been bad...
Me- Listen love, i am really sad to hear that but i sincerly didnt know anything about it, do u want me to come around? (i asked that without thinking about the fact that i was broke n merely surviving)
Him- Well do as u pls, cos i certainly got so many things wrong in our relationship
Me- We will talk about it when i see u
We got off the phone, with an obvious strain coming from both of us...him thinking 'i knew about it and didnt bother to check on him' and me thinking 'how am i supposed to know when u didnt tell me'

I check for tickets, didnt find any cheap one but finally settled for the cheapest which has made my account go red, so i am here waitnig for my flight which is in about 2 hrs from now..wud be with him till monday evening...lets see if we can work things out, he certainly sounds angry n withdrawn but i also have unanswered questions

How do i feel now u want to know? well i am still a little depressed knowing he thinks i dontt care and also i am lost as at y i was left in the dark about the incident...

Wud keep u guys updated tho.....

Why make me cry?

I am writing this with a heavy heart and i know by the time i am done ill prolly be crying!

After i received the 'miss u baby' thingy my man sent me,I miss u 2 baby.... ,am feeling all happy and shit, i couldnt wait to call him n tell him how he made me feel better but i had to rush off to school so i i decided to put it off till when i was driving or sumthin! After my usual early morning routine,i got ready for work and got into my car. I tried before i started the car, he didnt pick up,tried through out my 30minutes drive to school but he still didnt pick up! I started getting worried as he gets up pretty much the same time i do to get ready for work so i knew he was definitely was awake!

Thot to myself maybe he is running late, i gave him an hr and he still didnt pick up, at this time i didnt understand jack of what my professor was saying and of which i have an exam in that course on monday!
I tried repeatedly during his lunch break (we normally talk briefly during his lunch breaks) but he still didnt pick up, at this point i was thinking sumthin bad had hapend to him n thot to call his mum but i decided against it, deciding to give him more time!
I called when i was done with classes and off to work (we usually talk at this time too) but he didnt pick up but this time sumthin strange happend...my call was rejected, my heart began to do a double summersault!

To cut the long story short he didnt call me the whole of that day and didnt pick up my call either,the next day by 6a.m in the morning he sent me a text 'we will talk later',ok now i knew he was ok but i got really angry nd shit, i mean after calling you close to 100 times, you shuda at least have the courtesy to return 1 call but d opposite was the case! I was soo flipping angry and i typed a long ass text message but kinda lost it before i sent it and cudnt be bothered to type it again,i ignored him the whole day thinking,hoping,praying he will call me but he didnt oh!

On friday, i decided i was going to try again and tell him exactly how i feel but my plan b was to leave him a voice message straight from my heart but his phone was off and has been off since then! I am like a lost child, i dont know what to do, what to think or what to say!

Different thots have crossed my mind, 'maybe he is tired of me' but its not like i have been too pushy or anything, i mean he does most of the calling and shit, 'maybe its another girl', all he needs to do is tell me and i will leave him alone,hurt i will be but life goes on! 'can he be in danger', then y did he send me that text? 'can his sister be up to sumthin again', i dont want to believe he will do this to me cos of his sister, i mean after all she has done!
I feel very hurt, lonely,rejected,depressed,upset,confused and many more i cant list.....but God dey!

The painful thing about all this, i have a very important exam on monday, tho i have tried to study, i dont seem to understand anything...thots of him keep filling my head...yes i knew it, i am crying, heart wrenching tears! Got to go now,to soak my pillow like i have done for the past 3 days n nights with my phone near,hoping the name 'D One' would appear on my screen!